Courage vs. Denial
Deuteronomy 31: 6
Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
So, I’m working today and praying as I do and asked Father to give me a heart of courage that I may stand strong and confident during these trying times. He said to me, “Ivey, you have one of the strongest hearts I know. That does not mean that you don’t feel. There is a big difference between courage and denial.”
That was an eye opener for me, and I had to stop what I was doing and begin to write. He has told me before that I have the heart of a lion, but He has also shown me that I have a big heart. Are these congruous with one another? What’s more, over the last many years He has continually unveiled a tender heart within me. How does tenderness harmonize with courage? All of a sudden, I feel like the lion from the Wizard of Oz. Not so very brave and yet . . ..
A truly courageous person allows her heart to feel. Anesthesia is not synonymous with courage. As a young person I learned to be brave by anesthetizing my heart. To feel was to experience pain. Our Father had quite a job on His hands to get me to allow my heart to feel. I didn’t want to feel the pain, who does? Living without the ability to feel deeply and strongly is not the way. Learning to feel the full range of emotions and still stand confidently with the courage of a lion is the grown-up stuff of life and even (or especially) of Christianity. If your heart does not weep right now when you hear of the thousands of deaths around the world then you need God to perform heart surgery. The tragic circumstances should not cripple you though. Perhaps it brings you to your knees but in prayer rather than defeat.
As I have pondered this today, Father has shown me that the reason I am able to feel deeply and tenderly and yet be strong is because I have learned to turn to His presence within me. I do not meditate on negative thoughts or doomsday scenarios. I keep picturing angels with flame throwers. I seek God within me. I will tell you another truth. I do not inundate myself with press conferences or news. In fact, I try to stay far away from sensationalized broadcasts. Those people peddle fear and discord and I cannot afford to have those deposits made in my spirit.
Another thing I do is pray. I am praying more now than ever before. There have been seasons of prayer in my life previously, but I know that I need the prayer as does all the world. I am praying for you and every other person on this dirt ball that is hurtling through space. I feel the responsibility to pray but I also know that I am taking care of my spirit by praying. My own spirit needs more prayer and nurturing than normal.
Learning to be tough and tender has been one of the hardest lessons of my life. I am sure I am not where I need to be yet, but I thank my God for where He has brought me. I can feel the love and compassion of God and even express it, but I have God’s own strength to stand in a torrent and fight with conviction and vigor. I have finally realized that to be like my Father, I must be tender-hearted, allowing myself to feel things intensely, and yet be strong and courageous. Denial is not bravery. It is buckling to a lie, bowing one’s knee to cowardice. I will not buckle in this time of challenge. I will stand boldly, with you in, the name and faith of our Father. Let us, therefore, stand – shoulder to shoulder in compassionate courage.
If you need someone to talk to, you are welcome to call or email me. We are in this together.
